Written By: Adam Zelnicker
Introduction:
I cannot believe that I am very close to graduating university. Ok, you are probably reading this thinking, this kid is an over exaggerator he is graduating like the rest of us. The truth is, there was a period where I thought all of this was impossible. I thought that graduating from an accredited university, let alone the #1 school in the country, I would think you are delusional. However, as I am sure everyone can relate to, life will come at us out of nowhere and will take us on a journey that we do not expect. I have had many occurrences of life knocking on my door and I had no choice but to adapt then and there.
Let’s begin in the place where it all began for me, Montreal, QC. I’ve told many people but yes, I was born in Montreal. My mother and father have been moving back and forth to figure out the lives of themselves, my brother, and myself. The first year of my life was mainly my father coming back from Toronto every weekend from his new job at the time. I obviously do not remember anything during my first year of existence, but I have heard that it was rough. It is not easy for a mother to raise two young children, let alone one who was diagnosed with Autism at three years old and it is not easy for a father to come back only on weekends to have helped as much as he could. While my family did the best they could, this arrangement would not last as my mother, brother and I eventually moved to a small suburb north of Toronto called Thornhill, ON. Growing up in Thornhill Woods was interesting. Everyone knew each other and cliques were formed almost instantly. I am proud to have a produced a strong foundation of friends that I still talk to this day. They are each doing their own things right now, but I know they have the same determination as myself. Whether they become computer scientists, psychologists, architects, or anything their hearts desire, I know that they will make it big, they certainly have had an impact on my life.
Childhood:
While I feel like my foundation socially was strong at the beginning, that does not mean that I had a smooth sail throughout life. From 2009-2011, I remember nothing but my parents having shouting matches non-stop. It was so bad that I felt I had to be the security guard and stop them from fighting. Little did I know it would be a strong contribution to one of my biggest challenges. I have major anxiety. Anxiety has been something that I constantly embrace about myself because it is part of me, however, that does not mean I have always dealt with it well. Ever since my parent’s divorce in 2013, I would have surprise stomach aches that would stop me from being my best self. I still struggle with telling myself that “I am enough” and that “I am bigger and better than this.” When my parents officially separated, my brother and I had to get used to this idea of two separate houses and families. It took a toll, but I knew that my parents were not meant to be together and that this was for the greater good. Along with that, I had to leave my elementary school at the time and transfer to one near where my dad lives in mainland Thornhill. The elementary school I attended from Grade 5-8 was filled with students that unfortunately did not see the world in the way I did. It is very hard to connect with people who think they know it all just because their parents gave them everything they wanted and never said no to them, let alone when they have treated you badly behind your back. I could choose to look at it as a failure, or as a teaching moment for myself. The fact that I realized that my own perspective was whole enough to realize that none of them had the decency to say anything to me directly. It usually reveals who they are more than who I am. But hey, when your teachers and principal tell you that it is time to move on and leave this student community going to the high school I turned down, that usually says something too. That motivated me to stay true to who I am and go back to my roots.
Adolescent:
September 2017, I started my high school journey at Stephen Lewis Secondary School in Thornhill Woods. I was super excited to be back with my old childhood friends, I truly felt like myself again. With that said, high school was a different ball game for a fourteen-year-old kid who has yet to step in one. High school is the precursor to university to really discover who I was. I tried to make it a mission from my four years in high school to develop two skills, critical thinking and leadership. Jumping to my Grade 10 year, I have had an encounter with reality that shows that those in power can sometimes only think about themselves and not their students. I took all applied courses in Grade 9 (which is more of a hands-on approach). I did so well in majority of those courses that I wanted to push myself to the next step and develop the skills I mentioned previously and take academic courses. I thought that I would be excited having the same Grade 10 Academic English teacher as my Grade 9 Applied English teacher because she knew who I was. The only problem was I did not truly know who they were. When your feedback in every assignment is “lacks critical thinking” and “doesn’t have ability to critically think” is not the words you want to hear when you trying to get better. The final straw was when my parents went in for a parent-teacher interview. My former English teacher had the audacity to tell my parents that I cannot critically think and that I should remove any hopes of going to university. My parents told me this themselves. Unfortunately, this now became personal, and I knew that I had to and could prove her wrong and I got a little angry. I took Grade 11 University level English with a full determination to prove my previous teacher wrong. One of my final essays in the course was to write a personal essay about an event that deeply changed course in our lives. I knew that I could capitalize on my Grade 10 experience six months before. I successfully wrote an 8-page essay that detailed that whole event and how I overcame it, it was the best essay I have ever written and aced it. Along with my amazing grade, just to be validated by my teacher who marked it and could not believe what I was saying. I was very tempted to reveal who it was but sometimes taking the high road is the strongest method. Do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do something. Look at some of my heroes, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dwayne Johnson, Mel Brooks, and Magic Johnson just to name a few. These four men have struggled with their own demons, but they did not let anything get in their way from stopping them to be who they are and contribute to society. An English teacher can’t and shouldn’t stop you if they don’t believe in you. Yes, its corny but its true, believe in yourself. Doing that will lead to others believing in you.
Once my high school journey came to an end, it was time to start my next chapter of finding out who I was, little did I know it was going to become a two-part movie.
Part I: Queen’s University, September 2021-April 2023
As an eighteen-year-old who wanted to be set free, I put first that I needed to get out of town and learn more about myself I decided to start my journey off in Kingston, ON’s Queen’s University. While my time at Queen’s did not work out the way I hoped, I am still happy and have zero regrets to have started off my journey where I did. For starters, I had a great core by my side that may not have understood me all the time, I know that I was embraced by them and can honestly say they were the best roommates anyone could ask for. Also, I would not be where I am today if it was not for the faculty that embraced me and pushed me to go towards my next step. More on that in a bit. My first year was a definite rollercoaster in and out of Kingston. While I was having fun with my friends that I have made, I did not put enough time figuring out what path I needed to take in life. My grades in first year certainly did not meet the standards that I have on myself right now. I came home feeling super ashamed and I knew that I could not let my parents see them. Being an immature and stupid nineteen-year-old, I thought lying would bail me out. Throughout my childhood, I have always been on-guard of protecting my parents and myself from those who did not always have our best-interests at heart. My father and I have a super deep bond. We understand each other in ways that many people cannot understand us. Both of us have heard that we’re our own breed, that is because it is true. My biggest fear in life was to not disappoint him, especially because he practically raised me as a single father for majority of my adolescent years. When he found out I lied about my grades, he was super disappointed me. Not as much because of my grades, but because I lied about them. I think I grew up more in that one day than I have in nineteen years of my development.
My second year of university was very tough. I was pretty much on my own emotionally and financially. I saw myself dealing with this in two ways. I could either give up on myself and just ride out University or I could somehow make this a positive idea and learn what is out there for me. As an Employment Relations minor at the time, I took the Intro to ER course at Queen’s taught by Professor Robert Hickey. Professor Hickey and the rest of the Employment Relations Studies program at Queen’s have been my biggest cheerleaders in my second year. Thank you also to Professor’s Glenda Fisk, Jacoba Lilius, and Dan Samosh who taught me foundational courses and skills to help me get to where I am today. They truly believed that studying the world of work was a path I needed to take. Unfortunately, Queen’s still does not have an Employment Relations major. I knew that this was the discipline I had to go after and that a change was necessary. I remember having a conversation with my cousin Justin and he talked about his time at the University of Toronto in their Industrial Relations and Human Resources program and I have to say I was extremely enlightened. In October of 2022, I applied to the Social Science program at UofT, and I made it a mission to get in somehow. Once I left Queen’s, I waited desperately to at least hear the news of my application. On June 1, 2023, I received my admissions letter to UofT, and I accepted instantly. Although this was not my first run at accepting schools, it felt extremely rewarding that my path to success was possible. I then accepted my offer to be a Work and Organizations major through the same faculty that my cousin Justin spent his undergraduate journey, the CIRHR.
Part II: University of Toronto, September 2023-November 2025
Well, I made it. The best school in the country and the eighteenth best school in the world. My first thought was man, I better not screw this up. One thing I learned is that once an opportunity comes to your face, you must capitalize. In October, I went to go introduce myself to the engine that runs our program, Professor Rafael Gomez. I really wanted to impress him because he has done so much for my cousin during his time in the program, the last thing I wanted him to think was that I was some kind of freak. With that said, after meeting with him, I realized that the only way that I can succeed in this program is by being myself and getting involved as much as I can. Ok I guess I can go into a motivating point now, always be yourself! The way the world works is by each of us acting like a piece of a very complicated puzzle. Each of us are built differently and we can only fit in what is naturally for us. I have tried being like other puzzle pieces (people), it got me nowhere. I have never felt more like myself than I did as a member of the CIRHR. I promise you that this is a faculty that truly cares about their students.
In my first year at UofT I tried sticking to my professors like sponges and tried to show them that I care about my studies and the program. I really connected well with all of the professors I had in the CIRHR. Thank you to Peter Smit, Jenna Myers, Brad Seward, Bob Thompson, and Reena Khresoof for being such amazing instructors in my courses. Some of these courses I did better than others, however, even if I struggled in the course, each of them was always at my side willing to do whatever it took to make sure I would succeed. I cannot stress enough, if you show the faculty of CIRHR that you care, they will reward you.
After a year at UofT, I knew that it was time to give back to a program that has given so much to me in an eight-month period. I made the crazy decision to run for President of IRHRSA of this calendar year. While the election did not go the way I originally hoped, I was honoured to still be asked by the amazing students of the CIRHR to serve as their Co-Director of Events. Serving on the IRHRSA board has been nothing but a privilege and honour. While I did not get elected President, I have built a strong relationship with the current President and the other board members alongside me. It’s ok if your Plan A does not go through fruition, if you have a good Plan B to back it up, you’ll still get the same satisfaction you were originally hoping for.
While it has been an amazing tenure at UofT, that does not mean I have and still am dealing with certain struggles. Anxiety is a part of me but that doesn’t mean it always treats me right. While I am proud of the decision of transferring to UofT, I knew that it would put a huge deficit in my social life. Going from partying weekly at Queen’s to almost never has not been easy, but I knew that this was the decision to make to benefit my life in the long-term. It also gave me an opportunity to see who truly valued me as friend. Some have shown the strong value of friendship, but some have also shown their true colours. Unfortunately, I had an incident with someone just a few weeks ago with somebody who I thought respected me but clearly does not. There was this one person that I was looking after at Queen’s when I started but as they became true into their own and found their people, I became like nothing to them. I am ok with that, but I still expect a certain level of respect in return. I decided to post something on Instagram of a subject that was not that serious, the Kendrick Lamar halftime show, and they decided to hound me and tell me that I am wrong for what I said in a rude way, even though they were wrong to begin with. Long story short, the super bowl started as a pep rally, not a showcase for “showability.” These kinds of people are going to exist everywhere so just make sure you know who were dealing with as you get to know them. Being insecure is completely fine, but being mean is not. Everything in life is a learning opportunity. Everyone can disagree with each other, but being disagreeable is not acceptable. Anyways, just make sure you are true to who you are in the process!
Final Words and What’s Next?
While I have made a lot of groundbreaking progress in the last year, it has also been probably the most difficult year of my life. Right now, my family has made the decision to live our way for the first time since my parents were separated fourteen years ago. I am coming off an environment that made me feel very bad about myself constantly and would not feel motivated to succeed at all. All I will say is this. You are going to encounter people in your life that will try to stop you from succeeding if they see you as a threat to their happiness. People will try to control you if they feel you are not living life their way. As I have said multiple times, never let anyone stop you from being you. It can be often seen when someone is trying to help you, detriment you, or not care about you at all. One thing I am still learning is to be at peace with myself even if I am right in situations where others do not see their wrongdoings. The opposite of love isn’t hate, its indifference. My favourite scene in one of my favourites shows Mad Men is when main character Don was being shamed by a whiny executive and he said to him, “I don’t think about you at all.” I am working to get to that point with all my adversaries because having adversaries is simply not healthy. You don’t have to like or care about them, but don’t let them take so much energy. After reading this I’m sure you’re thinking this is easier said than done, yes that is true. However, through time and constant reminder of self-worth, you will rise above hate!
Before I close out, I also want to give a shoutout to my JD Sports family at Vaughan Mills mall. I thought that I needed an internship to succeed and find my next steps, boy was I ever wrong. Let this be a message also, you DO NOT need an internship to help with your career development. If you can get one, that’s awesome, but if you have an amazing job with people around you who care about your development on and off the sales floor, that to me means more than any possible internship. The management team and my fellow co-workers have built something in the last year that I am extremely proud of. I heard stories about the store struggling and I wanted to make it a goal to turn it around with my awesome partners in crime. We went from one of the lowest selling stores in the district to one of the top stores in Canada! To everyone who is apart of this family with me, my journey is not possible without you. I am so appreciative of you all.
With my November 2025 graduation upon me, it’s time to think about what’s next? I can be scary to think about but what is important is that we have plans. I plan on working for a few years and then going for my master’s degree when the time is right. I have been asked, why am I not going for my master’s right now? The truth is I want to gain workplace experience, and I feel for the path I want to take this is the course I need to follow. Should you get your master’s right now? My answer is, how would I know? I am not you. Everyone should focus on following their own plan and doing what is right for them. It doesn’t make a difference whether somebody gets their master’s at 22 or 27 years old. What makes the difference is that everyone has a plan that benefits them and follows through with it.
Anyways, thank you for allowing me to share my life story with you all. The reason why I wanted to share it with you all is because life will constantly throw curveballs at you. Whatever demons you may face will make it hard for you to face the day. Constantly remind yourself how amazing you are! Constantly be yourself in any situation that faces you! You are part of the CIRHR because you are special, and it has been a special privilege to serve and study alongside all of you!
Fellow graduates, congratulations! Young and incoming students do not take this program for granted! You are extremely lucky to be part of this community, and you will get so much out of it during your university journey! Have an amazing day everyone!
Adam J. Zelnicker
Work and Organizations Student of the CIRHR
Co-Director of Events of IRHRSA
Sales Associate at JD Sports Canada